💌 Weekly: The daughterhood penalty

Women’s double burden

The Female Quotient
January 20, 2026 • Estimated Reading Time: 16 minutes

WHAT’S ON DECK

Tell Me More: The daughterhood penalty is a hidden tax on professional women
Troublemaker Spotlight: Annie Jean-Baptiste, Founder and Director, Universal Product Development
Inside Track: Leaders on the move
Dear FQ: How do I not carry old workplace wounds into my new job?
Poll the Pack: Company culture is shaped by everyone

TELL ME MORE

The hidden penalty of being a daughter

There is an old proverb that says, “A son is a son until he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life.” This couldn’t be more true when it comes to caring for aging parents. In fact, research finds that daughters provide twice as much care for parents as sons do. And for many of them, this is their second round of caregiving.

We talk a lot about the motherhood penalty, and for good reason. Mothers are less likely to be hired. When they are hired, their starting salary is an average of 7.9% lower than non-mothers. In fact, the pay gap between mothers and non-mothers may actually be greater than the wage gap between men and women. For every additional child, mothers can face a wage decrease of 5 to 20%. And in the workplace, they’re often viewed as less committed, less competent, and less promotable.

Meanwhile, fathers often experience the opposite: the fatherhood bonus. For every child, men see an average of 6% increase in wages. Fatherhood is seen as a signal of stability, reliability, and even stronger leadership potential. Fathers are actually viewed as 5% more committed than non-fathers.

This double standard creates a double burden for women, especially when they’re raising children and caring for aging parents. Enter: the daughterhood penalty. This lesser-known penalty affects women who step into elder care responsibilities, often at the expense of their careers. Many reduce work hours, pass up promotions, or leave the workforce entirely. And the financial cost is significant: lost wages, missed benefits, and lower retirement contributions, leaving them vulnerable later in life.

In fact, a 2024 study published in Research on Aging found that women aged 50 to 60 who provided care to a parent or in-law experienced an inflation-adjusted wage loss of 4.2% to 9.5% without reducing their hours. Meanwhile, women in the same age range without caregiving responsibilities saw a 2.7% wage increase.

Even when siblings are available, caregiving isn’t divided equally. A 2014 Princeton study by sociologist Angelina Grigoryeva found that daughters spend twice as much time caring for parents, 12.3 hours per month compared to 5.6 hours for sons. And it gets worse. Grigoryeva shared: “Sons reduce their relative caregiving efforts when they have a sister, while daughters increase theirs when they have a brother. This suggests that sons pass on caregiving responsibilities to their sisters.”

Why? Because caregiving is still widely seen as “women’s work.” Globally, 81% of elder caregivers are women. Over 66% of paid caregiving roles are held by women, and in North America, South America, and Europe, that number rises to 75% or more. Quite simply, caregiving has been stereotyped as women’s work. This issue is compounded when boys and girls are raised only seeing women as the ones who step up when caregiving needs arise. Results from a 2018 survey prove this: adults in the U.S. perceive women to be more nurturing, empathetic, and responsible for caregiving.

And yet there’s no “care gene” that makes women more qualified for this work. This is learned behavior, shaped by families, media, and culture. Liz O’Donnell, founder of Working Daughter, an organization that helps support women balancing care and career, says: “Women face a double whammy. From a family perspective, a societal perspective, and a media perspective, there’s an expectation for women to be extraordinary mothers and also to be extraordinary daughters.”

This burden takes a toll emotionally, physically, and financially. And it won’t change without structural support: that means workplaces must recognize the importance of caregiving and provide real flexibility. It means policies that support caregivers with paid leave, benefits, and protection against career penalties. It means shifting how we raise both boys and girls. And at home, boys need to be participants in care and see parents shouldering equal responsibilities. Outside of the home, men need to be visible in caregiving roles so that children can see real examples that providing elder care is not relegated to one gender. Programs like Roots of Empathy are helping lead this change by teaching all kids how to provide care for infants. Our next generation must embrace the truth that care isn’t a feminine trait. It’s a human one, and it should be expected of everyone.

TROUBLEMAKER SPOTLIGHT

Annie Jean-Baptiste, Founder and Director, Universal Product Development

Annie Jean-Baptiste is changing the way we do business for everyone. She is the founder and director of Universal Product Development, and her focus is on building products that work for the world. She is the author of Building for Everyone and has a new book coming out, Empowerment for All. She has led diversity strategy across some of Google’s largest product areas, served as an intrapreneur in residence at the University of Pennsylvania's Graduate School of Education, and is a member of the CTA Health Equity and Access Leadership (HEAL) Coalition. She was named to the Ebony Power 100 list and has been featured in Vogue, Essence, Business Insider, and Fortune.

What’s the worst career advice you’ve gotten?

The worst career advice I've ever gotten is to conform. Early in my career, well-intentioned people would tell me, “You should dress this way" or “You should talk this way.” It expended a lot of energy that could have been funneled into leaning into my strengths. I realized I added value because I wasn’t the same; I came from a different background and had alternate points of view.

What’s the best piece of non-obvious career advice you’ve gotten?

My former manager and mentor told me to “lead with yes,” and that doors I didn’t even know existed would open. Often when we're met with something new, our tendency is to come up with all the ways it wouldn't work. So instead, I think, “What would it take for me to say yes to this?” It’s benefited me throughout my career. When I was first approached to write a book, I was hesitant because I wasn’t a writer and it was not something I had ever done before. But there is this quote I love that says, “Get your butterflies flying in formation.” It's okay to be nervous. You don't have to get rid of your butterflies, but you need to get them flying in an intentional direction. So I leaned into that initial discomfort and now I’m writing my second book.

What was a heartbeat moment for you in your career?

About 7 years ago, I was working on a side project that is actually what I do today. But I was also at a point in my life where I had a choice: follow this new, riskier path or advance in the career that I had. My intuition was telling me to take the risk. I’ve found that often your body already knows the answer, but you have to pause and listen. And for me, following my gut definitely worked out.

Who is one person you’d love to give flowers to from your career that influenced your journey? What advice or lesson did you learn from them?

My parents. They immigrated to the United States and sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today. They were civil servants and instilled in me that giving back to others and thinking outside yourself is a moral responsibility. That bleeds into everything I do, whether it be my job or passion projects. They were my role models for being a responsible citizen and thinking about those who are less fortunate or different from you. When things get tough, I go back to those core values.

Where have you caused some good trouble in your career?

I first started horseback riding during COVID because I needed to get outside for my mental health. It turned out to be a transformational experience. I wanted to offer that to others, so I started a horseback riding camp at a horse rescue for kids who wouldn't traditionally be a part of that world from either a background, racial, or socioeconomic perspective.

I got pushback from people. They said that the children could do other things in the city instead. But the connection between horses and humans is very powerful. There's research that shows that if kids have disabilities or trauma, riding can really help. I think that opening people's aperture to something they don't know is critical to becoming a fully-formed human being. So I took the feedback and blocked out the noise. Now these kids are learning about farming, they're gardening, and they're experiencing the responsibility of taking care of horses.

Want to nominate a “Troublemaker” you admire? You can do so here.

INSIDE TRACK

Leaders on the move

Dina Powell McCormick has been appointed President and Vice Chairman at Meta. A longtime leader in global finance, policy, and impact, Dina has shaped transformative initiatives like 10,000 Women and One Million Black Women. As Meta accelerates its AI ambitions, Dina’s leadership is a game-changing signal for women leading in tech.
Hayley Romer takes the helm as Managing Director, US Advertising Sales at Bloomberg Media. From shaping commercial strategy at The Atlantic to expanding global brand partnerships at Art Basel, she builds trust with brands and teams in ways that truly last.
Pam Kaufman is now Chief Entertainment Officer at Gap Inc. After leading global markets, consumer products, and experiences as President and CEO of International Markets at Paramount, Pam brings a deep understanding of culture, storytelling, and scale to one of the most iconic portfolios in fashion.
Alexis Katana has been named Worldwide Media Director at Prada Group. With over a decade shaping strategy at Gucci, Alexis brings a blend of digital fluency and the ability to connect luxury heritage with audiences.
Courtney Hamacher has stepped into a new role as Chief Creative and Marketing Excellence Officer at General Mills. Her leadership has powered beloved brands like Cheerios, Nature Valley, and Yoplait across the globe.
Kim Seymour has joined SKIMS as Chief People Officer. With nearly three decades shaping high-performing cultures at Etsy and American Express, Kim knows that people are the engine behind every great brand.
Brigit Zimmerman is making history as Priceline’s first-ever female CEO. Brigit is redefining travel with a focus on value, helping travelers navigate an overwhelming amount of options with smarter pricing and better tech.
Elle McCarthy has been named VP of Brand and Creative at McAfee. From PayPal to Ford, she’s championed human-centric storytelling that reflects real lives and drives impact.

DEAR FQ

Your burning career questions answered

Fleming Longino of The Female Quotient weighs in:

First of all, congratulations on the new job and an even bigger congratulations on getting out of a toxic environment.

Given your history, it’s only natural to feel wary. Leaving a toxic workplace isn't as simple as just walking away. To move forward, it’s important to acknowledge what you went through, honor how it impacted you, and use the experience to define what you want and don’t want from a workplace. Set and communicate healthy boundaries from the start. Be patient with yourself as you ease into this new role and culture. Above all: recognize your value. You were chosen for this job because of your experience and expertise, and this is a fresh opportunity to shine in a place that values you.

But healing doesn’t happen automatically. Research into workplace trauma shows that after toxic environments, former employees often carry emotional scars, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, and self‑doubt into their next jobs. That means the first step is self-care and clarity: take time to process the past, remind yourself of your worth, and give yourself permission to heal.

Next, build trust slowly and deliberately. Good leaders build trust not by grand gestures, but through consistent, reliable behavior: clear communication, transparency, and follow‑through.

Finally, stay grounded in what you know you deserve. Use this new job to establish and maintain boundaries, recognize red flags early, and prioritize psychological safety. You’ve already done the hardest part: leaving the toxicity behind. Now it’s about reclaiming your confidence. This is an exciting opportunity for you!

P.S. Got a burning career question? Serve it up here to Dear FQ to score advice from a powerhouse leader in our network.

POLL THE PACK

Culture isn’t top-down; it’s all-in

Company culture isn’t just shaped at the top; it’s built by everyone. Leaders can define the vision, but it’s up to every individual to bring it to life.

Culture thrives when employees recognize their own agency in shaping a workplace that’s positive, inclusive, and evolving. That means being intentional with your work, communicating with respect, and taking ownership, not just for outcomes, but for how we show up for each other.

Because culture doesn’t live in mission statements; it lives in team chats, project feedback, and how we collaborate every day. It’s not a one-time declaration; it’s a constant dialogue between people and the organization.

When everyone contributes with care and accountability, the culture reflects it and everyone feels it.

So don’t just absorb the culture. Shape it.

Xo,

The FQ

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