She is not allowed to have sex...

WHAT’S ON DECK

• Tell Me More: The part no one talks about after birth

• FQ Leaders Spotlight: Melissa Doman, Organizational Psychologist

• Inside Track: Leaders on the move

• Dear FQ: How do I set boundaries at work when I’m the one that everyone counts on?

• Poll the Pack: Standing out on a high-performance team

TELL ME MORE

48 hours later and you’re on your own

When you’re pregnant, you’re focused on the appointments, the planning, the names, and the gear. Sure, you have the Snoo and a stroller that has more bells and whistles than your first car, but no one really prepares you for what happens after you bring your baby home. In the U.S., moms are often sent home from the hospital within 48 hours after giving birth. After one of the most monumental and taxing moments of a woman’s life (not to mention the previous 9+ months...), she’s given less than 2 days to find her bearings and find the exit. 

Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi, OBGYN, spoke to The FQ on the disconnect between prenatal and postpartum care on an episode of Broadlines. When she went through her own pregnancy, she shared that, "Postpartum was definitely not a discussion in any of my prenatal appointments. The focus was on the baby, having the baby, and then after that, you're on your own. I remember taking her home in the car seat and wondering, ‘What do I do now?’” And that’s coming from an obstetrician. 88% of women say they feel unprepared for postpartum. As Harvard professor Jessica Cohen put it: “Women are left to fall off a cliff after delivery.”

That freefall is a problem. The U.S. doesn’t have infrastructure in place to support new moms. Postpartum is one of the most critical times. 50% of women who die from pregnancy-related causes do so after birth, yet most women don’t see a doctor again for 4–6 weeks. We’ve normalized a timeline that doesn’t reflect reality. Six weeks postpartum is treated as a finish line, but physical recovery can take a year, and mental and emotional recovery can take several.

Dr. Aliabadi says that the general public’s thinking is that a mother is “back to normal” within 6 weeks of giving birth because her wounds have healed. That expectation to quickly “bounce back” is completely out of sync with reality. A 2023 study revealed that 1 in 4 moms in the U.S. go back to work within 2 weeks of giving birth (!!). Dr. Aliabadi knows that all of this takes a toll: “There’s a lack of sleep, waking up with a screaming baby, and being overwhelmed. Your incision hurts, your vagina hurts, your nipples hurt. Everything hurts." 

And yet, so much of this remains unspoken. Postpartum recovery is layered, physical, emotional, hormonal, and deeply personal. Even intimacy is misunderstood. Six weeks postpartum is often seen as a green light, when in reality, many women are still healing. It does not mean we’re ready or obligated to have sex, a reality many women experience but few openly discuss. 

It is absolutely normal not to want to have sex six weeks postpartum, but Dr. Aliabadi shared that patients ask her for medical notes to delay intimacy because “no” is not always respected at home. “Patients ask me to write a note detailing that she is not allowed to have sex for another 6 months, another 3 months, another 5 weeks, because these patients would go home and their partners force them to have sex with them. They want a medical letter from me to show that they're not supposed to have sex, and I give it to them.”

Then there’s mental health. Postpartum depression affects 1 in 7 women, yet 75% go untreated. Many suffer in silence, shaped by the expectation that motherhood should feel joyful and anything else feels like failure. Women who have a history of mental health challenges are often more vulnerable, but many stop taking medication while breastfeeding because they’ve been told it’s not safe. Dr. Aliabadi is clear on this: “It's absolutely safe to take antidepressants while you’re breastfeeding. A lot of patients think they can't. Self-care is very important. Sometimes we get so involved with the baby that we forget ourselves.”

This can have catastrophic consequences. If a woman is not treated, it does not “just go away on its own.” Research shows symptoms can last for years, even until a child’s 6th birthday. Postpartum mental health exists on a spectrum: from the “baby blues” that can last a few weeks, to postpartum depression that can stretch for months or years, to postpartum psychosis, which requires immediate care and can have life-threatening consequences. This is about the mother and the entire ecosystem around her. When she’s not supported, everything else is affected.

Other countries are doing things differently. In South Korea, new moms spend 21 days in peaceful postpartum care centers called Sanhujoriwon, where new moms can focus on rest, nutrition, and healing while government programs help cover the cost. In Germany, postpartum care lasts over 80 days, and midwives visit every new mom for 12 weeks, all covered by insurance.

In most of the world, postpartum care means support, not survival mode. Many postpartum practices prioritize warmth, nourishment, and recovery, because giving birth is a monumental feat that shouldn’t be met with isolation. It’s a reminder that new mothers deserve time, support, community, and care. Let’s make that the standard.

FQ LEADERS SPOTLIGHT

Troublemakers who don’t fit the mold, and don’t try to

Melissa Doman is on a mission to make talking about mental health at work feel normal. An organizational psychologist and founder of The Workplace Mental Health Method, her goal is to help companies, leaders, and teams communicate better about mental health and the realities of team dynamics. The truth is, mental health shows up at work whether we talk about it or not. She has worked with companies all over the world, including Google, Progressive, Microsoft, and Estée Lauder. She is also the author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work and Cornered Office: Why We Need To Talk About Leadership Mental Health.  

What’s the worst career advice you’ve gotten?

Someone told me that in order to win clients, you have to be the least expensive option. They thought it was better to be known as affordable than to be known for delivering real results. I think it's important to be accessible for all kinds of companies, budgets, and people, but there’s a difference between being flexible and discounting your worth. It’s something countless women struggle with. We’re often quicker to lower our price than some of our male counterparts. I’ve learned that knowing your value is non-negotiable. I’m not going to work with someone who doesn’t recognize my worth.

What was a heartbeat moment for you in your career?

When I pitched my first book. My career was gaining momentum, and I was speaking frequently, teaching, and working with organizations that were all saying the same thing: “We need to talk about mental health at work.” I agreed with the sentiment, but I kept asking myself, “How?” It is easy to say we need to have these conversations. It is much harder to teach people what that actually looks like in practice. What do you say in a team meeting? How do you respond when an employee discloses something vulnerable? How does a leader model healthy behavior without oversharing?

One day, I was scrolling on LinkedIn and saw an author who had published a book with a small publisher. I remember thinking that if they could write a book, so could I. I wanted to write a practical guide and a manual that showed people how to talk about mental health in the workplace in a way that was responsible and effective. I realized that if no one's going to write the damn thing, it's gonna be me.

Who is one person you’d love to give flowers to from your career that influenced your journey? What advice or lesson did you learn from them?

I’d like to give flowers to one of my best friends, Nidia Amado. We met through a Denver women's Facebook group right after I moved there. Whenever I reach a new milestone in my career, she'll say, “Maybe you can do this next.” She encourages me to venture outside the realm of what I think is possible. She’s always there for me when I'm tired, when I have a challenge, and when I’m celebrating successes.

Where have you caused some good trouble in your career?

For my work, I equip businesses, leaders, and individuals with the skills they need to have constructive conversations about mental health, team dynamics, and communication in the workplace. The process can be imperfect and hard, and there will always be companies and leaders who don’t care about it. 

I’ve been met with resistance, but we spend the most time with the people we work with every week, and it can be really tough out there. Mental health challenges will inevitably surface in the workplace, and they directly affect performance, communication, productivity, and, ultimately, the bottom line. Why not teach people skills so they can talk about the support they need, get the support they need, and function better in their jobs?

Want to nominate a “Troublemaker” you admire? You can do so here.

INSIDE TRACK

Leaders on the move

• Manon Rheaume has been named the first-ever GM of PWHL Detroit

• Anu Gupta has stepped into the role of Chief Transformation Officer at Starbucks

• Anisha Raghavan has taken on the role of Chief Marketing Officer at Seed Health

DEAR FQ

Your burning career questions answered

Briana DeFranco of The Female Quotient weighs in:

It can be tough when you’re the one at work that everyone depends on. It’s an issue many employees, specifically women and people of color, face. The instinct is to prove yourself to be reliable, responsive, and the person who always delivers. Over time, that commitment can quietly turn into expectation.

What’s often overlooked is that when you help someone at work, you’re not just being “nice.” You’re contributing to the success of the entire organization. When teams are stronger, companies are stronger. 

That said, if you’re feeling overextended, there are a few ways to interrupt the cycle. Be transparent about your capacity, not as an apology, but as a leadership behavior that creates space for real collaboration. Ask for help when you need it. And remember to really sign off and protect your time outside of work. Rest isn’t a reward, it’s a strategy. When you give yourself space to unplug, you come back sharper. 

Being dependable is a genuine strength, but remember that successful teams aren’t powered by one person doing it all; they’re built on shared ownership.

P.S. Got a burning career question? Serve it up here to Dear FQ to score advice from a powerhouse leader in our network.

POLL THE PACK

Collaboration is the competitive edge

When you’re on a high-performing team, standing out can feel tricky. You’d think it turns competitive, but the best teams don’t operate that way.

Standing out isn’t about individual heroics. It’s about connection and contribution. The smartest move? Build real relationships. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that the people who create the most impact are top performers, and they’re also “connectors.” They share information, bring others in, and make the team smarter as a whole. The people who stand out aren’t chasing the spotlight; they’re building trust, collaborating, and making the work better for everyone. 

Right behind that is initiative. In rooms full of motivated people, no one is waiting to be told what to do. High-performing teams value those who anticipate needs, move ideas forward, and create momentum without waiting for direction.

And one thing that matters more than people realize: how you show up in the team dynamic. Psychological safety, feeling safe to speak up, ask questions, and take risks, is what separates good teams from great ones. The people who elevate teams are the ones who help create that environment. Standing out isn’t about doing more alone. It’s about showing up and working better together.

Here’s to support, not survival mode.

Xo,

The FQ

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