Messy homes spike women’s cortisol levels

WHAT’S ON DECK

• Tell Me More: The stress of clutter isn’t just in your head

• Troublemaker Spotlight: Rachel Lowenstein, Co-Founder of the Neu Project

• Dear FQ: Is it ok to step away from a thriving career?

• Poll the Pack: Connections are the key

TELL ME MORE

The mental load is real: For women, mess often signals unfinished work and the invisible labor they’re most often responsible for every day

Dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and dust tumbleweeds rolling across the floor aren’t just clutter, they’re stress triggers.

Here's something that might not surprise you: A study found that women living in cluttered homes had significantly higher cortisol levels, the hormone linked to chronic stress. The more mess around them, the more drained and overwhelmed they felt. And that stress stuck around. Men in the same homes? Not nearly as affected. Before you think, "women just care more about cleanliness" (or maybe just, “duh”), let's dig deeper.

Researchers suggest invisible labor plays a role here: The unseen work of planning, managing, and completing the countless tasks that keep a household running. The issue isn't that women are naturally more bothered by mess. Women are more likely to feel that they carry the burden of "fixing" the clutter, which means it’s not just the messy kitchen that’s stressing them out… it’s the mental to-do list that goes along with it.

The numbers don't lie about who's doing the work:

• Women spend 12.6 hours per week cooking, cleaning, and doing other types of housework, while men spend 5.7 hours.

• Married women without children spend 2.4X as their male counterparts on household work.

• Women spend an average of 520 hours per year managing the mental and physical load of household and family responsibilities.

Even in a time when women are earning more and increasingly becoming the breadwinner, the disparity between who does what at home (and how it’s valued) still exists. “I think public attitudes are kind of lagging behind the economic realities that husbands and wives are facing these days,” says Kim Parker, director of social trends at the Pew Research Center.

There is hope on the horizon, however: Nearly 60% of moms under 30 report equally sharing household responsibilities with a partner, compared to just 35% of moms over 30. This suggests younger couples are starting to reject the old playbook and create a brand of domestic equity we haven’t seen before.

To follow their lead, we have to recognize that invisible labor is real work that requires time and energy. Everyone who lives in a space should contribute to its upkeep. Set up shared calendars, create cleaning schedules, and delegate responsibilities ahead of time.

The goal isn't a perfectly organized home. It's creating a system where one person isn't carrying the cognitive burden of managing everyone else's lives while also trying to manage their own.

So if the mess feels overwhelming, it’s not just in your head. It’s the mental load women carry every day.

TROUBLEMAKER SPOTLIGHT

Rachel Lowenstein, Culture Expert, Content Creator and Chief Creative Officer @ The Neu Project

Through The Neu Project consultancy, Rachel Lowenstein is making good on her hypothesis that “the neurodivergent community has the most untapped creative potential in the workplace today.” She’s on a mission to leave the advertising industry better by reimagining work spaces where all minds can shine… not just neurotypical ones. As one of the few openly autistic execs in the industry, Rachel has worked with powerhouse brands like Nike, Google, and CHANEL, helping them develop inclusive and supportive work environments to drive growth.

FQ: What’s the worst career advice you’ve gotten?

At one point in my career, I was pushed into a role that just wasn't what I wanted to do. I’d gotten the advice that this role was in service of my long-term growth and was definitely the right move for me, but my intuition was ringing alarms, telling me: This doesn't feel right.

I’ve been quite experimental in my career, so for me to feel that so strongly was notable. Despite encouragement to stick with the role, I stood firm and followed my intuition. It turned out to be exactly the right move to not do what I was being told was “right.”

What’s the best piece of non-obvious career advice you’ve gotten?

"Sometimes it's not about the work, it's about the people." I firmly believe that relationships are the currency of business. I've worked on amazing projects with people who were… fine, but not my people. And I've worked on boring projects with incredible people.

The most rewarding experiences were the latter. If you're going through hell at work, but you're working with people who you love and trust, it becomes manageable.

To this day, the north star in my work is: Does this feel authentic? The answer always boils down to the people I'm working with.

What was a “heartbeat moment” for you in your career?

When I decided to leave my role at Mindshare, a media services agency, after 11 years. It felt like home but also like I was wearing a coat that was a little bit too small.

I had a choice. I could either stay on the safe route and remain somewhere that's been very good to me, or make a leap and bet on myself.

I consulted with a lot of leaders, mentors, and friends before I made the move. There were voices of dissent. "You have such a great job. You have stability. Why would you walk away from that?"

But I felt in my heart that what was right for me for the last 11 years wouldn't be right for the next 11. So I decided to take the bet, and for the last year I've been building both my consultancy and my nonprofit/for-profit hybrid to help reinvest in the neurodivergent community.

Taking that bet on myself has allowed me to hold hands with other women who are doing similar work and given me a huge payoff in the form of confidence.

Who is one person you’d love to give flowers to from your career that influenced your journey?

Jess Weiner. She's a culture expert who’s been working with brands like Dove and Mattel for 20+ years. I went to her early on as I was thinking about going out on my own.

I said: "Listen, if there's ever an opportunity to work with you, I would love to learn from you." Since then, she's generously provided counsel, advice, and friendship. We’re currently partnering on several projects.

Jess helped me navigate hard decisions and has helped me elevate my voice on public stages that have fundamentally changed my career.

Where have you caused trouble?

Everything we're doing at the Neu Project is good trouble. My co-founder Meg Henshall and I became accidental activists. We're both autistic and have worked in creative fields our entire lives, frustrated by the way creativity is rewarded in only one way: Loud buzzy meetings and big brainstorming sessions with very little prep.

Thoughtfulness isn’t really rewarded. Even the spaces we work in can be inhumane. They’re meant to encourage collaboration, but they’re really just big open spaces that don’t benefit a lot of people. 

This year at Cannes Lions we hosted a resilience space for mental health. We called it “Calm on the Croisette.” It was born of this idea that nobody likes networking, but it's a necessary evil. One that, if you're neurodivergent, is doubly hard. We’re reimagining what networking can look like. We had a painting station to help people who struggle with eye-contact. Conversation cards to help with discussions. Safe foods, lighting and sounds. It was a full sensory safe haven for folks who were struggling and just needed a place to go catch their breath.

Want to nominate a “Troublemaker” you admire? You can do so here.

DEAR FQ

Your burning career questions answered

Allen Stubblefield of The Female Quotient weighs in:

Taking a break from a high-intensity career after many years of working can be a very good thing. Whether you’re choosing to leave a position or you’ve been laid off, try to see your time off as a rare opportunity to rest, reset, and refocus on what’s next.

Take advantage of the hiatus: 

• Give yourself permission to rest. Any decent trainer will tell you that in order to grow, muscles need rest. Same goes for your mind and heart. 

• Build in time for reflection. A gap between jobs is a great time to reassess and realign your priorities. Are you doing work that energizes and inspires you? If not, how can you build a bridge to get there? 

• Remind yourself: You’re not at the end, you’re just turning the page. Each new chapter of life has a beginning and an ending. If you can embrace the transition, you’re more likely to spot the next opportunity when it arrives. 

Whether you choose to make a career change or stay in your chosen field, taking time off to stop and appreciate the hard work and effort you’ve put in will undoubtedly make you a better person and employee to any future employer. Even the best stories need a chapter break.

P.S. Got a burning career question? Serve it up here to Dear FQ to score advice from a powerhouse leader in our network.

POLL THE PACK

The currency of success: Relationships 

If you’re tired of living in a world that places too much emphasis on milestones and metrics, you may be in luck. Our definitions of success at work are clearly shifting, from productivity-at-all-costs to an emphasis on relationships (45% of employees) and purpose (35%). 

Employees today are driven by connection and meaning. Unfortunately, many still feel far from confident about claiming their rightful seat at the table (only 10% do) or fully pursuing their passions (10%). The good news: Organizations have the power to change that by making sure everyone not only has a forum to be heard, but also the opportunity to lean into their strengths and ambitions.

The right relationships can change everything. And when you build those connections, they can help you find your seat at the table and help you pull up more chairs for others.

Xo,

The FQ

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